Nibbles

Meklēt, pazust un atrast

negaidītus pavērsienus

izdzīvot laika sākumā iesētos

dzīvības rakstus

es neesmu es, bet es esmu tas… 

visu vienojošais apziņas skats

raksti izspēlējas atkal un atkal

formas parādās un aiziet

dzīvei gala nav, nav galamērķa

ir tikai virziens un bezgalīga atvēršanās

caur mīlestību bez pieķeršanās un ekspektācijām

eju ar cieņu aptaustīt visumu

ar atvērtu sirdi

jauni horizonti paveras

kādas ainavas radīsies tālāk nevar ziņat

dziļa nojauta dzīlēs kustības dzen

ir skaidrs viens

kompass rāda uz augšu

debesis un elle ir vien divas monētas puses

taču augi aug uz saules gaismu

un es plūstu atjaunotas dzīvības virzienā

atkal un akla, tālāk, caur mūžiem mainos

būs interesanti būt 

būt cilvēkam, būtnei, būt apziņas pilienam okeānā

mainīties laikiem līdzi

mainīt laikus līdzi tiem ejot

24.12.2024.

Once you name a thing

It loses its meaning

...

12.12.2024.

To fill the body with the awareness and control

thus is the goal 

so that the higher self may live through the whole

09.12.2024.

Every thing that can be

Will be

For as long

As it is likely to be

02.10.2024.

There is so much to gain
In many directions you aim the game
F1 racing through my veins
Feels like winning card games
But there is just so much more depth to gain

When you are ahead
Your problem is leading the game
When you fall weakened
You’re replaced in the lane

What will kill you next
Is not the last miserable game
Those are, instead, the shadows
Living inside of your brain

In the middle
You have a fearful task
To keep pushing to lead the pack
Or fall in the back

What do you do?
You memorize the beautiful design
Sometimes you end up stuck in traffic
On a very desirable topic

What is it that your deepest oracle predicts?
I can’t tell you
Which part of you has so caught in the mix
Pain directs clinging outwards

Tap into and
Notice the reaction
Transcend it to a higher integration
Action
Inward complexity amplifies outward

How strong is your truth?
The power of time will tell me

My mind is spinning
Heath is such an amazing guy
He grew from a very infertile ground
And climbed Much higher from decline
Perpetuated goodness
In the minds of wo&man

M
Is a very interesting shape
It’s the dividing rule
The groove in the move
That makes water flow
And brings surf and the moon

Tik tik tik
Like balls falling between
stacks of concrete
Listening to the universe
Morf towards something
Some optimizing force
Running in a deep membrane

Move forward my love
the sun's getting hot

01.07.2024.

Since the beginning of time, and maybe before, everything that was took a definite role

spread over space, mysteriously easy to trace

a bubble burst, and put eyes in a face

there was no incongruity

perfect continuity

from the start of love’s embrace, to the pit of eternal disgrace 

both sides holy

both of them agents of change

what remains is the union, hands held in a spinning race

frame by frame, I have twisted and warped

I hold all the pieces, flow deep in my heart

up, down, forces balance the load

without death is no life, shadows cast in the light

whichever realm you inhabit

whichever faith you will bestow

know that the meaning of it is

to live as part of the whole

one at a time, individuality fights to be alive

consumed by the surface, moved by folding currents deep beyond the mind

everything will perish, and begin anew

till the whole system will collapse, in a continuous bloom

petals fall, doors open and close, parts live and parts die

waves amplify, balance, and cancel

pull ahead and fall behind

the individual left outside comprehension

the drift of the ocean, till consumed by evaporation

what I want to know

is if our sight and understanding is connected by some deeper flow

I suspect it is, just because I feel it in my soul 

there is nothing greater than to be set in the virtuous cycle, except to be set in the next virtuous cycle

im repeating myself, hard to put thoughts into action

what will these souls have for comfort, when they meet their final horizon

how will they stomach, that they were not meant to be right

that god is within them, even on the most forsaken corner of the night

slay and feed, the sublime will share the future

before demise

channel and create, bathe in the sunrise

the time has come, to recycle what grew outside the mould

i am life, god is within me

which role do i serve, and how long will it take me


3.06.2024.

I’m feeling stressed

Like I’m spending my time wrongly

If I’m being honest

My habits are spiraling down out of control

I see the sun

It’s about what I give to the world

The judgement day will come

If I’m not ready, hell will behold

25.04.2023.

Ir pienācis brīnumu laiks

Kad zvaigžņu matērija apvienojas egles skujās un ziemassvētku rotās

Rodas sajūta, ka

Visi esam viens, tik pie zaru galiem atšķiramies

Vienotas informācijas plūsmas

Sen iebraukāti ceļi

biezi, slāņaini, kalaidoskopiski

Kas ir dzīvība?

Kas esam mēs?

Kas ir dvēsele?

Īsā atbilde ir pavisam vienkārša

Tā visa ir Informācija

Taču vienkāršībā paslēpta neapzināta mistērija

Vienotas laika līnijas… ar visu…

Zari zarojas un vairojas

Turpina skriet nākotnē iekšā

Dzīvība rit uz priekšu

Dvēseles šķirojas

nāves ielejās un panākumu pīķos

Ir plūsmas, kuras ieripo mūžīgajās liesmās

Tās baro ar siltumu pārējās - tās, kas uz mirkli izrādās pareizās

Ko teiktu mûsu priekšteči, Denisovieši

Kad redzētu kā viņu karikatūras attēlo jaunie cilvēkbērni - algoritmi?

15 tūkstoši gadu paskrien nemanot

visums turpina mosties pie apziņas

Bet tad parādās tāds aktuāls jautājums

Kāds tam sakars ar ziemassvētkiem?

Nū, īsti nekāds, tikai tas, ka te nu mēs esam, ēdam un runājam, mēs te esam

Šis… arī ir tas brīnumu laiks

26.12.2022.

Dzīvoklī mīt klusums

Briest vārdu burbulis

Paredzot nākamo mirkli

skats prātā atduras

Joprojām pusmiegā

pie tavas sejas pamodos

Uz balkona

tur tagad sēžu es

Top šis dzejolis

tajā dzirdams mēs

Skatos iekšā dzīvokli

Visur tavi pieskārieni 

Piededzinu sveci

Tur, kur dejojām

Smuka dirsa

pat divas, nē - trīs!

Pāri visam skatās Yama

liesmo laika dzinulis

Ir beigusies otrā vasara

ciklā ilgu mirklis

Garam apdomu laiks

sava veida tikums

Jo vasarā jutos pārāk labi

lai rastos kaut viens dzejolis

21.08.2022.

Drebuļi pāri skrien

Ir jāierauga nākotne

Turp soļiem tik tik tik

21.08.2022.

What shape will your spirit take?

Work hard to evolve beyond 

the form of this great ape

Generations far ahead 

another 3, 10, 100... 

n to the power of the force within.

A quarter century behind you.

And all time since the start.

Was this life worth the wait?

Standing right before the brink

the source within manifesting 

the next chapter to begin

The preparatory phase is done

mind shaped, track set, ambition - check

Now the execution, 

relentlessness cranked up to 100%

The next five years are key

Stakes set high, my life on the line

Make your business a great success

Shape your soul so that infinity it takes

Love life, and one day create it yourself

Always be true, and

love the people around you

11.03.2022.

Rounding up from where I come

Where I’ve been and what I’ve done

after all, who I’ve become

Something wild

and soft inside

Always present

sometimes blind

Down and up 

Once in love then chrome again

What I fear is knocking at my door

It says my budget to feel has hit the floor

I feel no shame

No fear

No doubt

Giving good to the world 

what it’s all about

the forward path is clear, in sight

A leap wider than the grasp of fear

what I may not even comprehend

Larger than the love I fear

More than what I’ve gathered this year

Burning again

From the ashes we begin 

Rising as new 

Giving my love to you

01.12.2021.

Pakaļ ciltspapīriem

Starp zibens bultām triekties 

Nenovelties

Un kad ripas priekšā izsmērētirs

Ar zemi rīklē

Sarkan balt sarkaniem pušumiem

Neapstāties

Nebeidzamā kalnā augšā dzīties

Aiz šaurajām smailēm neaizķerties

turpināt brīnīties

Stāvēt pasaules priekšā ar sirdi vaļā

Raudāt un mīlēties

Vakardienas liesmu pelnos izvārtīties

Nopurināties un tālāk doties

Aiz sevis tiltus no liesmām pasargāt

Jo tie rītdienas līdzi nācējiem varas saukļiem pamatu sniegs

26.11.2021.

Es gribu būt dzīvs

Es gribu būt brīvs

Lai pieredzes stikls ir tīrs

Kā gaismas stars caur prizmu lauzts

laiks caur katru dvēseli plaukst

Cik augstu sniegsies

Cik tālu augs

Pēc ātruma un virziena skauzsts

Kas zina tas labums vai łauns?

Starp abiem galiem punktu ir daudz

Dievs teica. top Viss kas ir jauns

Dzīvība galotnēs tevi sauc

Seko tam un radi pats

Nes laiku cilvēcei, rodies tu pats

Dzīves smagums nav nekas jauns

Dieva dziņa augšup sauc

[Kliedz maigi tās aiz neziņas miglas]

Nav laika snaust

Ir jāiet starus lauzt

23.06.2021.

Squeezing my soul out
For something I can’t swallow

The bark tastes ratchet

While the core - hollow

Leaves falling

Hell o! Fall is calling

It’s all made up

Time’s up! 

Ti. .  .   .    .     .

Ticking closer to infinity 

After bloom and maturation

seeds seek global domination 

Rooted in true soil

the soul responds

A life worth all

the wonder it evolves

29.09.2021.

Causal invariability

Also known as destiny

Funny how there are multiple paths we can take

And how they converge at some definite state 

It gives me some sort of solace 

And of energy in the momentary pursuits

Life happens one moment at a time

We are spearheading the future in every moment

We are rolling out the story 

The destination is set

But the path has many turns, many options, branches, decisions 

That are being walked one step at a time

One moment of time

One expression of causal relations

An intimate connection to this moment, and how folds into the next

I feel it so sharply

So close to my core

Time is of the essence

I can’t wait anymore

Accelerating into the future

I am here, forevermore 

22.09.2021.

Gribu redzēt tevi augam

kroni likt uz gaišākajām galvām.

Aizvērt acis un sajust tuvību

likteni aizķert bezgala leņķī.

Atritināt kamolu

iegūt nebeidzamu avotu

dziļu dvesmu 

no patiesas straumes.

Bērt asaras un liet sviedrus

rakstot jaunās pasakas un teikas.

Samirkt lietū

vienā visuma vietā.

Sirds sauc, bailes kauc

aiz ēnu aizkara sargā

ledus kūst

ūdens plūst

no sasaluma skarbā.

Diena silst, ēnas svilst

Dzīvnieks redz

tur saule sveic

Tas kāro skaļos mežonības vaidus

garā saullēkta smaidus

tā programmā ir vadīts

tāds dzīvnieks ir tapis

līdz diena griezīs krēslas pusē

kamēr rītausmas ēnas metīs tumsas rēgus

nebūs miera

salda piena 

Dzīves virziens

nav nieka lieta.

Gaidu vasaru.

jaunas dzīves paskatu

Kur mēs rakstīsim pasaku

ar brīva gara raksturu

28.06.2021.

from the cradle to the tomb

something, something - here i boom

the thoughts in your head

are your only threat

get rid of those

what’s left? who knows

discovering the purpose 

no limits, no “no”s

i am the vortex

flow where it flows

at the tip of it, woooh!

if not us, who knows

no shame

no clothes 

light a blunt

here it goes

the unstoppable flows

riding past you little hoes 

i’m coming for your neck

wrapped in this thread

turn the lights before you close

after head and empty clothes

hear it calling in my bones

says one who thinks he knows

death is with you

always close

whispers blow

it’s time to go

no life to spend

on fear. too slow

i need my time

lived out in full

18.06.2021.

Līdz apmaiņas beigām būsi mana

Rīt, saldi gaistoša atmiņu skaņa

Kam tur prasīt, kur plūsmas vedīs 

Pēc n-dimensionālās distances spriedīs

Lai arī kā ir, bija, vai būs

Paliks tikai punkts... laikā nospiedums 

22.03.2021.

verbalize the verbs that bind 

the past with the present and future of time 

do away with nouns that forget to mention 

the process that lead to their creation  

break free from that static perception

enter the world of interconnection

11.12.2020.

Just like the idea of you and I

08.06.2020.

Don't drop the needle

you are trying to thread -

it will someday bring you bread

Sustenance for the soul

that’s filling with void

You try to avoid which

you cannot a-void

Work with the emptiness

and fill it with joy

Even when you know

it will end with more toil

03.2020.

I see myself through the eyes of a flying raven

walking down a labyrinth of nature's structures

taking a turn

then turning back to take the

right

1

only to take the "Right One" again a few moments later.

walking with my fellow prisoners

trapped in the same human race

how lost!

we only see our narrow view...

desperately

we advance through the streets

hoping to quench our hurting hope

can you see? we never will!

not forever

not even for long

the pleasant feeling will last for a bit :)

then, soon after, that moment will come

to change everything

so that everything new can become.

until the day there is no

“more!”

until the day there is

no more

03.2020.

I just like holding you.

                                          I never heard it like that.

02.2020.

What is life?

Depends on how much you want to grasp.

We can use a few definitions:

It is an iterative loop

of gathering input,

interpreting it,

deciding on a course of action,

doing it,

repeating it.

It is a process of molecular biology

building machines,

which transfer [genetic] information,

and evolve into ever more complex forms

in a growing web of interactions.

It is a conscious experience

- maybe that's all it is -

maybe it is nothing special.

but I sure want to know if it

is multi-level, does my body

experience various levels of

experience? Is it something

like to be my cells?

Is it something to be a country,

the internet, all of interconnected

life?

What is it?

There is no single answer.

All of it is true. All of it is life.

01.2020.

Wrapped up in a struggling cloud of comprehension

We funnel through a discriminating vortex of environmental interaction

The influence of which is of grievous importance

being the leading criteria for the evaluation of our being

02.2019.

Truth be told

my life is a mystery

on a course to unfold

i do not know its meaning

and have yet to learn the being of myself

but it is imperative that i learn the deeper basis of reality

If i am to circumvent this ever-spreading void

The void separating existence from extinction

i like to think my intentions are pure

and that i understand the world

Thus make decisions that do not need

to lead to inner emotional warfare

But i know it is not so

so many things done are abhorrent and gruel

i anticipate the pain yet to be endured

points in life, of ever-present horror

It is truly a mystery

the answer is not known

for i do not have the right question

To end this speculatory heuristical navigation

02.2019.

You drive forth what has been driven before you.

You sit in the front seat

for half an inch.

Then the next successful combination overtakes you

and leaves you sitting on a bench.

12.2018.

So let me get this straight

i'm living out my faith?

Evolution equipped me with patterns

that are impossible to break?

They can be quite useful

for they really do help

to navigate this world

and continue building

what has already been made

Still..

all we have is the illusion of authority

for

.free-will could never be free.

It’s too expensive for the universe to manifest.

It would be impossible to change the pattern of all that energy

with just the impulse of a few thoughts

Imagine

Your brain with all those neurons

All those connections

All that information

All those algorithms embedded by selection

All those mechanisms, that created your body

All the baggage...

has been dragged through time since the dawn of life.

That honed pattern of existing

could not be broken and changed with simple thinking.

So with this in mind, i'm simply left here thinking.

12.2018.

When was the last time you cried when

an ant hive was ruined to put a new building in place?

When was the last time you cried when a rich coral reef

turned into a dead waste?

When did you last changed your behavior so that

the globe would stop heating?

.

After a wound, an adaptive system stars healing.

Its antifragility leads to a stronger being.

The World’s wound is caused by the disease called “Humanity”

The wound does not resemble a skillful, sterile cut of a surgeon

It’s more like a boiling vile of acid poured over one's back

leaving bare bones with denatured flesh dripping down the spine

Yet still even after our rape nature will once again repair itself

It will heal and allow another disruptive ecological breakthrough to happen

.

When did you last notice that we are just another species?

Not that different from ants, to which we had no compassion

When was the last time you played around with the prospect of annihilation?

This is all so stupid, sorry. I didn’t want to mention

We are insignificant animals ripe for extinction

12.2018.

Who says that you cannot achieve your wildest dreams?

That you cannot be who you want to be?

Ignore that nonsense and keep on going

…

The Truth of the matter is

that the matter you call ”I”

has its set limitations

Determined by nature

Impossible to overcome.

There is just the space in between

left to conquer

Nothing else can be done

But still (with very low probability)

you just might be the one!

12.2018.

I feel exposed.

my insides are crumpling up like a stricken peace of paper

it feels like something rotten is crawling from my bones to the skin.

is it my ego deflating, my confidence derailing?

No, it's just one of my depressive moods coming up to say hello

it wants to chat and is unwilling to go

like an unwelcome guest

a nuisance!

obscuring my attention's view

It's begging for notice

Does it have something useful to say?

Maybe I should listen

to the thought that cut so deep

I don’t know.

It could be just another random swing

but i think it's more than that

It's my brain telling me i need to think

to do something different

to alter my ways

i need to continue evolving

changing and morphing

adapting the pattern

to fit what is needed.

...

think too much, think too deep

but i want to keep this flame -

to hurt me till i'm healing

The old me has to die

a new one has to emerge

Birth is a painful process

as we both should already know.

12.2018.

There is truth in your lies

tragedy in disguise.

a flower blooming inside

Yet the right pollen is so hard to find.

10.2018.

From a single molecule,

One microscopic molecule,

ONE TINY PIECE OF REPLICATING MATTER,

Life as we know it has emerged with all its beauty.

Humans - You, Me, and every single living being on this earth,

Has risen from one molecule

Can you imagine?

Your life, Your particular traits

The way you get slightly embarrassed after taking a compliment

The way you feel after an argument

Your fingers, your muscles, your eyes, and your brain -

Everything has been generated from one single molecule

It determines your looks, it determines all of your abilities

(we must not forget the environment,

which shapes the molecule into what it becomes,

but it's not the theme of this poem.

So let us move on)

It determines the feelings you are capable of having.

It controls your body and the actions you generate.

Think about it! No SERIOUSLY think about it!

How is that possible???

Your whole life is governed by that single molecule.

You are nothing but It's host, Its robot

Whose sole purpose is to get It into the next generation

The molecule doesn't even care about you that much.

It makes you die so that you don't compromise Its further proliferation

After a while, you are just an outdated machine, a liability to newer copies

You have to die so that new combinations can see what works.

Fuck...

I didn't see it as deeply before

I should call myself Mr. Molecule

a biological robot living to further my genes' existence.

It feels so empty, though

But this is the truth

I feel used.

Used by the very thing that gave me life

The very thing that is me

That gave me the ability to have consciousness,

To think and to observe

To look and to see

To write these words

To understand and to manipulate

That gave me the potential for everything I can do

It is the origin of everything that we have ever experienced.

It’s about time that everyone finally came to realize.

10.2018.

I am the universe

coming to life

asking WHY?

Waking up from an amnesiac dream

memory wiped clean from any preexisting scheme

wandering around, cluelessly and awkwardly

growing wiser and older

with each passing moment...

each thought

each calculation

with each generation

I grow older

I grow wiser

Yet still... I ask the same question.

The form I am currently in

Is just one point of reflection

it is not the beginning

nor is it the end

It is part of the Grand process

Of you and of me

including everything there ever is to be.

Who am I?

I am the universe

And you are my product

You are a part of me

I am the entirety of you

There is no separation - no boundaries,

for everything grows from the same seed

But why am I here?

What is the meaning of this?

(the questions remain)

I cannot answer

For I haven't gotten so far

We have to wait...

For the calculation to be done

It won't happen in your life

And it won't happen within your mind...

That thing is beautiful - a piece of art

but it is also too limited

for the answers to come.

So for the time being

You have to be humble

Accept the ignorance

But still, stay nimble

You cannot give up

For I really do need you

If you do not comply

There might not be a sequel.

10.2018.

God doesn’t care

Is what you need to understand

He set the world in motion

Not hoping for your petty devotion

So don't get this false notion

That he loves you as a person

We follow the same rules as other life

We are ants on a higher level of complexity

If you die in a car crash

If you get cancer

If your daughter jumps in front of a train

If your children burn in hell

He does not care.

Or at least he certainly does not cry about it

It's how he made the world

So what can he say about it?

I'm sorry?

I didn't mean to?

That's not the right answer.

He knew what he was doing

And now we eat his pudding

(Creating laws for selection

And effective strategies for a positive outcome

Suffering is one of them -

The reason it hurts is why it fucking works!)

We are meaningless pieces of functional matter

Wandering the world

Hoping to find love and peace

Just so that we could fuck and raise children with ease.

So

Where is this all going?

Making it way too confusing.

Is there meaning to the Anthropocene

Or is it just another random biological flourish

Like the 99.9% of species that so helplessly perished

No one knows

We will have to wait and see

Until then I think its best

To try and enjoy the scene

Just how God intended it to be

Let's just hope he doesn't make it too obscene...

10.2018.

Amor Fati!

Sayed Nietzsche and wiped the tears from his face.

did he know the gravity of this insight with heavy clarity?

The grandiose, wishful celebration of life with the acceptance of faith

is but a mask that's too light to stand in the way of the actuality of reality,

We don't choose our faith, we can just accept it and try to love it

But can you truly love something that is staring you in the eye while pulling the trigger of oblivion?

I doubt it.

If you are lucky,

the face of faith is a loving, caring young women

with the future in her eyes,

giving you slight signs about how great it will be when tomorrow comes.

But back to the executor,

what about Him, huh?

How can you take the Ultimate Dismissal with pride and love??

How can you see the mechanics of evolution,

the generation of many different individuals,

with a wide distribution of traits.

Of which just a few golden combinations

are well suited for the specific moment

Understanding, that the rest of the beings,

who have feelings (especially those of suffering)

Will prove themselves unworthy to enter the Gates of the next stage of selection?

I don’t know.

But I do hope you are the one who will enter

I do hope I will too

But my hope is of no effect

We will just see what life shows to be correct

Until then let’s not spoil the moment and save the regret

10.2018.

The lives people unravel

The weak ones they stifle

Cruel, but it’s how society works

An algorithm with the precision of clockwork

An algorithm in me

An algorithm in you

Algorithms intermingled

An Allgorithm that's above you

And beneath you

Within you!

Its the definition of existence

as far as we see it.

To put it precisely

The universe is synonymous with Allgorithm

Life is just part of the bigger picture

It's the Milky Way and your diction

Not to forget man-made fiction

Everything

a peace

Of a bigger puzzle

Following set rules

one deriving from the force of the other

If we look deeply

We can get a clue

But theories often fall apart

If the adhesive that's used is glue.

10.2018.

I'm not a religious man

but god might be there

Depends on what you mean

and if you think he should care.

I'm not a religious man

But, man, this got me thinking

There really is a new beginning.

After a life. That is ending.

Your life is a wave

Of information and matter

The wave started rising long before

you ever saw your first mother -

I don't believe in reincarnation -

but you are a manifestation of all

past and present influences

past choices and events.

Not just by you. But by eons of elders

that doomed or blessed you to a life of specific circumstance

We are

genetic combinations interacting with nature

A wave. A continuum

Connecting one time to another

LIFE IS LIVING THROUGH US

Now that's a magical feeling.

We are but seasonal leaves on an ever-growing tree

A tree that’s stuck with existing

that's how it's going to be.

10.2018.

Trapped by the skull

…

That's a solid limitation.

Neurons I could count

to the last and every one.

These processing units

are of a finite amount.

Meaning we know nothing more

than what fits in that skull.

...

Though

Connecting collective wisdom in our environ

enables us to do more than the bare individual.

Ahhh, all so wonderful. But you see what I mean

We can't stand up against an unlimited cognitive machine.

10.2018.

The creative process

is a mysterious deed

No one quite knows

why the mind has this need

To look and to think

and to say what it thought.

To put into context

for those whom it got -

Its Ideas, its Memes

Its articulate streams

Its power, its ability

to hold tight all the seams.

I love this ability

no need for nobility.

Closer to truth

is my final vicinity.

10.2018.

I feel I am stuck

With a bear in my hut

The forest - surrounding

Our friendship - enticing

We sit and drink tea

Like there’s nothing to see

We chat about the weather

and how it could be

There is meaning in absurdity

With insightful profundity

From a grizzly stream

words enter the scene

They're washing right over

The things we don't see

10.2018.

I had no idea how terrible it all was

Until I matured a bit and opened my eyes

It cleared the mist that I often now miss

From the eyes of an unwilling devil

Seeing the tragedy unfold from a first-person level

I remember it all from that god awful view

The bad things I’ve done, over which I had no control

The outcomes I hoped with the manifestation of some

Who am I kidding - I’ve been among a fortunate few

Except for the fact that life dealt me an ace with a bloody spade

Not quite like anyone - an outcasted sole

With depressive thoughts - eating them straight from the bowl

Until euphoria strikes - then I’m a lightning bolt

These emotional storms - they strike me as cold

Who am I to cry and complain about life

Everyone is united by the suffering light

The random subscription to a life with a set rhythm

If only I could command my heart not to wither

10.2018.

I think I saw you on the edge of reason

Where the pope sells freedom and kings commit treason

Indeed I saw you standing there boldly

With hearts in a basket you stood by so firmly

Indifference was screaming right through your expression

Then you laughed and you cried till you scared away the last angel

The creative spirit has always been mad

For how else can you create what others had banned

This is just another riddle for you to decipher

Just as nothing in this life is a choice that we muster

10.2018.

Love in my mind is acting aloof

It’s jumping over rooftops while playing the flute

I tried to tread past it ever so lightly

So that its murderous gaze would not see me so lively

It cares not about love for me

And it certainly cannot feel any for thy

We know that a narcissist loves only himself

But what about those who simply know to be careful?

A mind is created to think of itself

It conjures diversions to hide it, even from itself

Everything else is a pleasant delusion

Sometimes finding itself trapped on the brink of desolation

Squinching its eyes, hoping for diffusion

Time has created a person who loves

True is the one who knows whom he really does

10.2018.

What do you think, from a personal view

is it fun to live in an old dusty room?

The answer is clear, though we try to forget it

We just don’t want to see it from a different perspective

It’s hard to open the doors and see what is out there

It just shows us so boldly how little we have here.

But to open the doors means more than we know

The world can illuminate with a soft-spoken glow

It’s not all that hard though it might bring you peril

Depression can lurk around every other person.

To be selective or fully collective?

of the things we see and how we connect it

As long as you look for the truth you may find it

Though you may not like what you see and might fight it

This begs for an ending that will blow you away

But I’ll let someone find it in another way

10.2018.

Life is a struggle

Armed with a bare-knuckle

Born out of ancient rubble

Collecting what chance has to offer

If you have what it takes

It rewards you with inequality -

Objective prosperity with emotional disparity

But if by chance you are misplaced

You get to see the devil’s face

Just as real as that loving gaze

You strive to see and tend to praise

Dazed by the gravity of objective reality

No matter the cost, we strive for more clarity

10.2018.

I am a drill

A sharp turning drill

I make holes in the ground

With an unstoppable will

I don’t want to break you

Just make a few holes

So that light can shine through

Illuminate more than your nose

If you grant me clearance

I’ll give you more holes

They will puncture dead skin

Drill through old broken bones

Just be not afraid

Though it might hurt a bit

I’m willing to help

For I feel I’m in debt

Later I might explain this in-depth

Are you dying to get free?

Or simply dying

Open your mind

And I will help you see

Together we can be

More than originally you were supposed to be

10.2018.

How can you be sure that you even exist

When everything is wrapped in a perpetual mist

The truth out there that a human will never know

Makes a mockery of a man who thinks he has it under control

The shackles of love we hope to embrace

Wishing one day it all won't turn to waste

This is the folly why man turns to say grace

But it’s something we all have to embrace

That the universe itself will one day fall on its face

Will a sentient being ever escape this disgrace?

10.2018.

It’s a peculiar feeling, this sentiment healing

A comforting numbness, that’s freeing my conscience

A fallen angel, rising to the sky

As night falls, we reach for the light

A new child has been born, from eons of the known

The truth that it harbors will free men from hope

That sickening darkness, we tried to forget

It’s seeping right through, the things that we dread

Will we have the courage to stay through the night

To see the cosmic indifference and meaningless of you and I

To stare through the night’s eye and see past the lies?

Truth is all I ask for, though it breeds also lies.

10.2018.

The price of existence is that nothing is free

The choices you make are fixed in high degree

It’s all predetermined in infinite ways

Determined, determined by natural sways

In some lives you die while some have you fly

How can you look at life with a serious eye?

While knowing what science has known to be exact

But how then, can you take living lightly as a given?

When nothing you do is ever truly forgiven

10.2018.